Day 18 ~ Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

 hey, You.


You asked me how I was… I wish I could really tell you. If I could, then I'd tell you that I'm okay... but I'm sad sometimes. Because I miss you. (Even if you're just there.) You see, I've been thinking of you a lot lately. My mind's been full of memories, memories of our special moments together. Well, for me, they were special; those sweet, unforgettable times I spent with you... Like how we used to stay up late just surfing the internet, or listening to songs that you liked... And then the many times that you'd join in on my phone conversations or online chats with my friends... Also that one time when we were walking and you had a guitar and you made up such silly songs that we were laughing along the quiet streets... I remember when you were sick and I was there taking care of you, then you sang my favorite song, though you did not know it...  Of course, I couldn't forget the times we danced together... And the way you hugged me when you said goodbye that summer... Yeah, I've been thinking about you.


Though I thought I was over it already. I thought that in the months since summer - our summer - I've already put to rest the hopes and dreams I had. That's what I thought. But after seeing you, being with you again, everything easily came back to me. In the hundred days that passed, nothing's much changed. You're still you and I'm still me. You're still the sweet and wonderful guy I fell for... and I'm still - irresistibly - your biggest fan.  But no worries, I'm not heartbroken or suffering maladies of unrequited love. I'm okay, really. Just a little bit sad for the way things are. As happy as you made me everyday of that summer, these days you make me melancholic and nostalgic. I've read somewhere that the essence of nostalgia is knowing that what has been will never be again. I think I told you that in one of our conversations before. It's true for me now. I think about you and all our moments together because that's all I have. And I'm thankful that I have them and I'll always treasure those times. But time will come that the feelings that come with these remembrances will fade. I know this will pass. Maybe another hundred days and I'll really be over you, over what I've wanted to be us... I'll be able to go back to seeing you only as a friend, a good friend, but just a friend. It won't be long now, I'll look at you and there won't be anymore longings and heartbreaks-in-a-minute. Then I'll no longer think of you like I do now... 


But 'til then, I'll just stay here, with you on my mind...


~Me


Day 18 of 30 Letters in 30 Days
photo credits here.