Day 21 ~ The friendliest person you knew*

*originally:  The friendliest person you knew in just one day. i couldn't think of anyone really worth the title so i chose to write this for the friendliest person i knew right form the very first day we met. here goes:

It was a Sunday morning when there was a knock on the door. I got out of bed, opened it, and there you were. It was destiny. Kismet. Fate. Serendipity... Later that night, you were sleeping beside me.

Ever dearest Jhai, my roomate. This is for you:

A piece of paper brought us together, one that had two letters and two numbers written on it: BA 39. But it was God really, for He knew that I needed someone like you in my life. I thank the Lord for you Glezel Mae Galenzoga. I'm truly blessed that I know you, the FRIENDLIEST person there is. I knew that right from the start.

The two us just sort of clicked together right away: we shared stories and pictures even that first night in Kalai, then ultimately pushing our beds together for comfort in sleeping in a strange new place. And of course I remember that parade on the first official school day, you carted me around like a little sister, introducing me to your friends.  You're just that way, kind and generous, thoughtful. You showed me that in those first days I knew you, until the very end of our year together . You were the best roommate and a most wonderful friend. You have a big heart, as big as you are, maybe even more.  And you are truly beautiful Jhai, inside and out. You've touched and blessed my life from that first day I met you, through every day we had in our little room and beyond that. It is truly exceptional to have shared much with you and more so to be your friend.  For in the countless friends that you have, being who you are, I am  really glad to be counted as one.

Love always, Your Bonita

Day 21 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Day 20 ~ Someone you want to befriend/get closer to

To my love, J.D.

I wish I really knew you. I've spent countless hours with you - watching you, listening to you. You don't know just how I wish I was close to you. I have all these dreams and fantasies. It's just that you are so incredible for me. You are such a star in my life. You're great in everything you do, I mean everything!  I adore you, really I do. And I'm not scared to say it. All my friends know it. I will shout to the world how much I love you. I have for a long time now and I will for a longer time still. Simply said: I am totally, absolutely, freakin' crazy about you. I just want you to know that.

So if ever you read this, I hope you'll drop me a line. I'll be waiting. I'll wait forever for you.

Obsessively in love, Vanie

ps: I am totally serious. Call me! Let's be friends...

Day 20 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Day 19 ~ Someone you judged by the first impression

To a 'Kuya'...

I still remember clearly the very first time I met you… You were so unlike any guy I've known back then. In the short time I came to know you, well, you were just wonderful in every way. Of course, I couldn't help but adore you. And I did, from that first time we were together, more so after the second time, and for some years after that even when I didn’t see you.  For me, you were the perfect guy, ideal in every way, and no one else came close. Of course, you were so out of my league, but that didn't stop me. Also you were older, and you lived far away, and you were just too wonderful. That was how I saw you, from the very first. Until it all changed.

Until you changed. I was astounded to have heard the news of what happened. It was unbelievable, incredibly so, that that could happen to you. Maybe to other guys, but not you. You were supposed to be perfect, or as close to it as anyone could come. You were beyond and above the other guys. And I hated you for proving me wrong.

I now realize just how wrong I was. But not about that, not about you. I was wrong to expect too much, to have put you on a pedestal when, of course, you were not perfect. No one is. You were just a guy, a good guy, who made a bad decision. Despite that, you are still all that I thought you were at first. You really didn’t change. You're still that guy that I knew who have all these amazing qualities. I know that now.

When I've realized all these, I felt bad for all the bad feelings and thoughts I had about you. I judged you harshly and I'm sorry for that. As I write this, I think of you as a lesson learned. And I'm happy that I've known you. Also, I am happy for you, whenever I see or hear about your life now. I really am. You've proven to be all that I thought you were - someone good and wonderful. I won't forget that.

I wish you and your family a happy life.

~~~

Day 19 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

photo credit: Guitar_Man_I_by_subtlexshivers (deviantART.com)

Day 18 ~ Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

 hey, You.


You asked me how I was… I wish I could really tell you. If I could, then I'd tell you that I'm okay... but I'm sad sometimes. Because I miss you. (Even if you're just there.) You see, I've been thinking of you a lot lately. My mind's been full of memories, memories of our special moments together. Well, for me, they were special; those sweet, unforgettable times I spent with you... Like how we used to stay up late just surfing the internet, or listening to songs that you liked... And then the many times that you'd join in on my phone conversations or online chats with my friends... Also that one time when we were walking and you had a guitar and you made up such silly songs that we were laughing along the quiet streets... I remember when you were sick and I was there taking care of you, then you sang my favorite song, though you did not know it...  Of course, I couldn't forget the times we danced together... And the way you hugged me when you said goodbye that summer... Yeah, I've been thinking about you.


Though I thought I was over it already. I thought that in the months since summer - our summer - I've already put to rest the hopes and dreams I had. That's what I thought. But after seeing you, being with you again, everything easily came back to me. In the hundred days that passed, nothing's much changed. You're still you and I'm still me. You're still the sweet and wonderful guy I fell for... and I'm still - irresistibly - your biggest fan.  But no worries, I'm not heartbroken or suffering maladies of unrequited love. I'm okay, really. Just a little bit sad for the way things are. As happy as you made me everyday of that summer, these days you make me melancholic and nostalgic. I've read somewhere that the essence of nostalgia is knowing that what has been will never be again. I think I told you that in one of our conversations before. It's true for me now. I think about you and all our moments together because that's all I have. And I'm thankful that I have them and I'll always treasure those times. But time will come that the feelings that come with these remembrances will fade. I know this will pass. Maybe another hundred days and I'll really be over you, over what I've wanted to be us... I'll be able to go back to seeing you only as a friend, a good friend, but just a friend. It won't be long now, I'll look at you and there won't be anymore longings and heartbreaks-in-a-minute. Then I'll no longer think of you like I do now... 


But 'til then, I'll just stay here, with you on my mind...


~Me


Day 18 of 30 Letters in 30 Days
photo credits here.

Day 17 ~ The person who caused you a lot of pain

N,

In the history of my heart (it's not very long), the story of you and me is the longest and saddest. For is there anything more sad and painful to a young heart than unrequited love? I think not. For that is what I have endured in the long years I've known you. You were the greatest love of my young life. You were, too, the cause of my greatest heartbreak. You were my world back then. With all the eagerness and recklessness of youth, I fell for you. And of course, after the fall is the crash, for you weren't really inclined to catch me then, or ever, for that matter. Except maybe those times that you needed me, but not for the reasons I dreamed to be needed.  At those moments, you’d use your dubious charm and  your hold on my stupid heart and as I was so foolishly in love with you, I'd do everything I can to make you happy. That was my role in your life. I was always there for you and you took advantage of that. It's not entirely your fault because I let you. But the way you overlooked my feelings and disregarded the love that is behind everything I did for you, that has hurt me deeply. It felt like a great injustice that though I was the one who cared for you the most, I was not at all important to you. Oh, you told me that I was, that you loved me, too, in some measure. I don't know if you wanted me to feel better because of that. But it only broke my heart more, for I realized that that is all I had of you.

In the many years that I have pined for you, with much tears and agony, all I got in the end is a letter from you full of thanks and sentiments that the two of us wouldn’t have worked, that you would have only hurt me. That was your goodbye as we went separate ways for a while. Of course, you were right. A relationship (if it was even that) that is unbalanced as ours was, someone was only bound to get hurt. Sadly, I was that someone. I was unhappy for so long because of you, but that was my misfortune because I chose to love you - someone who could not or will not love me back. I have accepted that and learned to live with it. But it took a long time to finally get over it. It took time and being away from you to finally learn to let go of a love that would never be.

It's been so long since that time, and in hindsight, I can now only smile at all those memories. Many times before I've wondered if what I felt for you was really true, or was it just a product of my over-active imagination and my love for drama back then. I can’t be sure. But what I'm sure of is that I did feel all of those: the love, the pain, the hope and the agony. There's no more of that for me now, not even bitterness or anger. It was all lessons learned and part of growing up. And you, you'll always be a bittersweet memory. I don't think I can ever think of you as just a guy I once knew. You would always hold a tiny part of my heart, and of course, you'll be in the stories I'd tell my daughters someday when they ask about being young and in love.

~ V

*a song from your ex-lover.

Day 17 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Day 16 ~ Someone from your childhood

I've been blessed to have a wonderful childhood. Full of happiness, and love, and friendship. So I write to someone who had made me happy, and has given me love.. .the one who first showed me the joy of friendship…

my dear Ate Kay-kay,

I can't really remember now how we became friends. How it started. I guess through our moms since we were both 'faculty kids'. The farthest back I can recall is how I used to wait for you to come out of kindergarten class every afternoon while I was in my mom's classroom in the building in front of yours. Then we'll be off, playing and doing our stuff together. We were always together, playing either at your house or mine. It didn't matter 'cause both were home for me. Back then I could just easily say to my mom, "Don ako kila Ate Kaykay kakain."... and sleepovers were more than usual. It couldn't be counted the many times I've walked that short distance from my house to yours. It was like that for us. I have so many wonderful memories of those times.

You're only a year older but for me you have always been 'ATE Kay-kay'. In many ways you were like another sister. I remember that I would always hide behind your back when one of our classmates would tease me and surely you would make him stop. (You were so much taller than me, eh.) You were also there for me when I had to go through some of the painful medication I had to have for my heart condition back then. You shared so much with me, both toys and stuff, and also love and care. As young as we were, I knew we had something special. When I had to leave you when we moved away, I took that with me. And it's still with me until now. We've lived separate lives since then and years and years have passed, I still treasure our friendship. Whenever I look back, like I do now, it brings me a certain joy and a feeling of blessedness. For those golden days are really a great gift. I've had a wonderful childhood and you were a big part of that. When I grow old and gray, I have much to tell my kids and grandkids about how when I was young, life was good 'cause I had a great friend to share it with.

I'll be forever thankful for that and for you.

Love, Vanie

Day 16 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Miss Half-Way~

I'm half-way through the 30 Letters, 30 Days blog challenge (Yey me!). And I'm now finding it hard to follow exactly the list given by whoever started this thingie. I've already switched and swapped my letters around actually. Well, the reason is that as I am on this course of letter-writing, things come up that affect how I write and to whom. Like birthdays for example (Letter #15/#7),also when I've had some bad news (#7, too) or simply when I just have to get it out there even if it's not on schedule yet (like #12). One more thing is that as I get further down the list I realize that with some of the letters, I really don't know whom I'd be writing to. Like the letter for 'a deceased person you wish you could talk to '. In my life I've been blessed so far that I haven't experience how it is to lose a love one tragically. (My sister pointed out that I can write to our grandparents who've passed away, but I don't have much memory of them. At least not enough for a good letter.) In others like the letter for 'someone who caused you a lot of pain', and the one for 'someone who broke your heart the hardest', I was really hard-pressed to think of anyone. All I have are petty and silly high school stuff, which I think doesn’t really count anymore.  You know, because of this challenge, I've come to the realization that my life wouldn't make a good movie or book. There's not enough tragedy, at least worthy tragedies like the kind Nicholas Sparks writes about. My life has been non-dramatic so far (those in high school are not counted, those are just so, well, high school). I think most of the drama I feel I have are all in my head. Or maybe I just read too much fiction and watch too many tv series. Not that I'm complaining. It's just a little upsetting to realize you're life is not interesting. Anyhoo, as I was saying, that's most of my problems with the original list for the 30 letters. So here's what I did... I've revised and personalized the 30 Letters in 30 Days! Not much, mind you. I didn't want to deviate too much since it is supposed to be a meme after all. I just tweaked it here and there… changed those inapplicable to me, compressed the ones that are meant for the same person (like the letters for myself), and basically I just made a way to accommodate my wants and needs, and my little OC disorder. Can’t really help it, and, it is my letters, in my blog, after all.

Here’s my new list for the 30 Letters in 30 Days:

Day 1 — Your best friend

Day 2 — Your crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your siblings (or closest relative)

Day 5 — A stranger

Day 6 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 7 — The person whom know is going through the worst of times

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — Someone who was once in your life but isn't anymore★

Day 12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 13 — The person you miss the most

Day 14 — Someone who’s not in your country

Day 15 — Someone you knew was meant to be in your life★

Day 16 — Someone from your childhood

Day 17 — The person who caused you a lot of pain

Day 18 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 19 — Someone you judged by the first impression

Day 20 — Someone you want to befriend/get closer to

Day 21 — The friendliest person you knew in just one day

Day 22 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 23 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 24 — Someone you want to kiss

Day 25 — The person who gave you your favorite memories

Day 26 — Someone who changed your life

Day 27 — The person you want to tell everything to, but are too afraid

Day 28 — The one who broke your heart the hardest

Day 29 — A prayer★

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

 ★ - letters i added

*here's how it's supposed to be originally. (from my sister's blog, check out her letters, too!)

So, that's how it's gonna be. I'm really having fun doing this. Everyone should try it. There's a certain joy in writing what you can't really say to someone, expressing love or gratefulness, and reaching out to people though words.

Cheers to love letters! ♥

Day 15 ~ Someone you knew was meant to be in your life

I knew you before I met you. When I looked up the UPCAT results to see if I passed, I saw your name. Then, when I checked the list of those who got accepted at Kalayaan Dorm, again, I saw your name. I knew you before I met you. Yes, I knew you Ms. REGINA ANN ABELA! And I'm really, truly, absolutely blessed because I did. God must've known that I would need someone like you in my life. So today, this  very special day, I thank the Lord for you, my beloved and dearest Mama Rej. A very happy birthday to you!

Today, I celebrate you Mama. For you have been so good to me. You've given me so much love and joy. Thank you for that. With you I really felt like a little girl, the way you take care of me. I always loved that, being the bunso in our little family. Looking back at sweet memories, I really can't thank you enough for all that you've been to me.

I miss you so much! It's been too long since I saw you, and kissed you, and hugged you. I long for the times that you were so close I could just easily reach you. Literally, since our bed was just connected back then. I miss talking with you. Everything we used to do back then. I really miss how we were...


We still are. Even now that we're all far apart from each other. The promise of friendship remains. Just like our favorite characters, remember? What we have can encompass time and distance apart. For truly you were meant to be in my life, and I know you'll stay there for a long while yet. You'll always be my Mama Rej.

I love you. I'm celebrating here for you, and I'm sending my hugs and kisses through the wind. Happy Birthday!

Love always, Banini ♥

Day 15 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Day 14 ~ Someone who's not in your country

Do you still remember that night? You said to me, “Let’s not waste the night…”, then you took my hand and led me to the lamp-lit dance floor. As you put your arms around me, I told you, “This is my first dance, you know.” I can’t remember what you said then, but I remember thinking, finally. I didn’t think it would be you. Because at that moment I didn’t know yet that you’re gonna be important to me. Do you still remember? Maybe not. It’s been years since then and you’re now half-way across the world. But I can still recall… I remember the song ‘Forevermore’, I was in a red dress, and you were wearing a black shirt. A first dance is always unforgettable to a girl, especially to a girl like me. It was only more memorable because it was with you. Because soon after that, I’ve come to know you more. As I saw your heart and your passion, see how wonderful you are, it was then that you slowly became important to me. Did you know that? I doubt it. During those times that we were close together, I tried not to show how I felt. Because you were a good friend. Also, I knew where you’re heart was. So I never told you. I’m telling you now. Do you know? I can’t be sure. You are far away from here. But you are not forgotten.

I hope you’re doing well over there. I pray your new life’s treating you well. I hope you’re still you. And I wish you still remember me.

Wishing you well,

Vanie

Day 14 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Day 13 ~ People you miss the most

[ika-15 ng Pebrero taong 2005] 
(mula sa ating lumang Friendster)


tadhana ang naglapit satin
no'ng una'y di ko klan naisip na ito'y mangyayari
lahat ng sakit na nadama ko sa pagkasira ng dating samahan
alam ko na ngayon na sulit ang lahat
kng hndi ko pa man nasabi ito
sana alam nyo na masaya ako na kayo ang kasama ko

apat na taon na ang lumipas
d man sa lahat ng oras na un mgkasama na tyo,
parang higit pa ang pinagsamahan natin
at ngayon na konti na lng ang panahong natitira
lubos na nalulungkot ang puso ko
d ko pa rin maisip kung paano na kung wla kyo sa tabi ko
makakayanan ko kya?
pro khit ano pa man ang gawin,
kinakailangang magpaalam
kaya bago pa man dumating ang oras na un,
nais kong magpasalamat
slamat sa pagtanggap,sa pag-ibig,
sa pag-iintindi,sa pag-aalaga,sa lahat lahat
la na akong iba pang sa2bhn pa kundi...mahal ko kayong talaga..

[limang taong nakalipas...]


Sa aking pinakamamahal na barkada:


Ako ay tunay na nangungulila sa inyo. Kay tagal na na panahon ang nakalipas ng tayo'y huling nagkasama-sama. Sa ngayon, talagang mahirap na para sa'tin ang magkatagpo dahil tila magkakalayo na ang ating mga buhay.. Iba-iba ang pinagkakaabalahan, sa iba't-iba at magkakalayong lugar. Kay sarap balikan noong mga simpleng araw sa hayskul. Mga araw na tayong lahat ay laging magkakasama. Maraming alaala and dumadaloy sa aking isp.. mga panahong puno ng katatawanan, pagbibiruan, paglalaro, kwentuhan, kainan (maraming kainan), at ang paboritong kababuyan... Ang mga ito ang bumubuo ng ating pagkakaibigan. Pero higit pa riyan ay ang pagmamahal at pagkakalinga sa isa't isa. Kahit pa na maraming taon na ang nakalipas mula hayskul, alam ko na iyon ay di pa rin nagababago. Ilang kaibigan pa man ang pumasok at umalis sa aking buhay, alam ko na ang CROAGS ay nandyan pa rin. Kahit na paminsan-minsan na lang tayo magkasama-sama at kalimitan ay sandali lang ang ating pagkikita-kita, kailan man di mawawala ang pinag-iingatang pagkakaibigan. Pagkat iyon ay pangakong panghabang-buhay.


Kaya ako man ay nangungulila, mayroong kapanatagan sa aking puso. Dahil alam ko na di kailanman magiging sagabal ang paglipas ng panahon o ang distansya ng kinaroroonan sa ating samahan. Kahit nasaan man kayo, laging isipin na ako lamang ay narito sa kabilang banda, patuloy na nagmamahal at sadyang naghihintay sa susunod nating pagkikita...


Sabik na umaasang makasama kayong muli,
~Banini.Vange.Vanie.Evangeline.Abela~


ps: Mahal na mahal ko kayo. ♥

 ~We belong together...~

Day 13 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Day 12 ~ Someone you’ve drifted away from

My dearest girls,

I miss you. We've been out of touch for some time now. I'm so sorry for that. It seem that the closeness we once shared got lost somehow. I was dealing with my own life that I forgot to ask you about yours. I told you many times that I'm always here for you but lately I haven't been really there. But that changes now. I want to reach out to you…

I've realized that as I have problems in my life, pains and difficulties, you might be going through some of your own too. I know how hard it is to deal with sadness and heartbreak just by yourself. So instead of  carrying our heavy burdens alone, why don't we share them, and maybe somehow we'll help lighten each other's load. After all, that is what friends are for. More importantly, that is what our Father have taught us… to love one another, to help and care for each other…

Toni dear, we haven't been able to talk for so long that I don't really know how you are. I pray that all is well and that God is always keeping you safe and good. I long to see you and spend time with you. I want to know how you've been, hear your stories and then  I'll tell you too how I've been, the things going on in my life. I know your sweet smile will help ease some of my sadness. And I'll be there too, to help you in anyway I can. I love you. I hope to see you really soon.

Dear Arbie, I'm thankful that we've been able to talk that last time and you've shared and opened up to me. After all that has happened to you, I am just so grateful to the Lord that He has kept you for me. Thanks, too, for listening and being there for me. You held my hand and helped ease my pain. I'm here, always ready to hold you whenever you feel alone. I love you.

The Lord has brought us together for a reason. He must've known that  we would all need someone to lean on. And so here we are. There will be time that maybe we'll drift apart sometimes, but what's important is to remember that it'll always be easy to reach out and pull each other back. Just don't ever hesitate. I'll be here, I'll always hold on to you my dearests. And the One who brought us together holds on to us even more, sure and secure. In God's love, we'll never be lost. Remember that.

I love you, two. I'm here now. I'll see you soon. 'Til then.

~Love always, Ate Vanie.

Day 12 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Day 11 ~ Someone who was once in your life but isn't anymore

"Minsan sa may Kalayaan tayo'y nagkatagpuan..." (Eraserheads)

to the guy with the glasses i'll always remember...

I met you once upon a class back in freshman year of college. That class has always been one of my favorites. Not because the teacher was great or because of the lively class discussion, it was because you were there. I can still recall that very first day of class... We were grouped together and you asked me to write down the names of our group mates. That was half a decade ago and I can still remember the glint of the silver glasses you were wearing. I was happy when I found out that you were in my dorm too when I saw you, you and your shiny glasses, at the Acquaintance Party. But I couldn’t remember your name then. So in my mind, I just called you Mr. Dexter. Why? Well, I knew your last name starts with a D, so Dexter, as in Dexter's Lab. 'Cause of your glasses and well, because you were just the cutest nerd I've ever seen. And that's how it started.

Every Monday and Thursday, I would carefully pick out what I'd wear to class and made sure that my hair smelled especially nice 'cause I know you'll be sitting behind me for one and a half hour. And as I'd leave the dorm around 8, I’d wish and hope that I'd catch you on your way too and that maybe we'll walk to class together. It was like that for me that first semester. Boy, I'd fallen hard.

As I got to know you; how smart you are and incredibly eloquent; how you can play almost every instrument that can make a sound; and you're such a gentleman, and you have this sweet smile that lighten up your serious face, I just fell deeper. You were just so amazing, brilliant and talented, and ideal in so many ways. I was kind of in awe and half in love with you.

I was never excited to do a project than I was with ours. All those meetings for planning, research at the library, excursions to shoot our videos, I loved every moment! Wished it wouldn’t have to end. But of course, it did end. We finished our project (it was brilliant, of course), finals came, our class dismissed for the last time and then the semester was over. Mondays and Thursdays were never the same.

I still saw you around though. After all we were kind of living under one roof. So I’d look for you at the Mess Hall at meal times... on laundry days I'll hope to catch you as I wait for my laundry lady... and during dorm events, I'd watch out for the twinkle of your glasses every time. I live for the moments like whenever we pass each other on the lobby or when we meet at the lounge area. You'd wave or smile, I'd smile back and then I'll be gushing about it to my roommate and floormates all night. It was worse on the special occasions when there's a dance. Everyone will be there at our tiny Multi-Purpose Hall and I'd hope and wait that you'll ask me to dance. But you never did. It's really sad that I never got to. Dance with you, I mean. Even at the last dance at the end of our stay at that dorm. It broke my heart a little. You were there, though, as I was packing up all my stuff into a taxi, on my way home, leaving our dorm for the last time. You waved goodbye on the steps as I drove away. That was five years ago and, again, I remember how the sun glinted off your glasses.

I still saw you after that, around campus, sometimes. You'd still smile at me whenever we'd meet. I’d wave and smile, and in my mind think back on the silliest crush I've ever had. Since then our paths, expectedly, went separate  ways. You lived your life and I lived mine. I don’t know where you are now. I haven’t seen you since I left our university, or heard about you from any of our friends for a long time. I  wonder where you are as I'm writing this letter… what you're doing now… if you still wear those shiny silver glasses. And I wonder if you still remember me. I hope so. I'd like to think that if you hear my name, or see me somewhere, on the internet maybe, you'd recall that I was the girl with the black glasses whose hair smelled nice. I really hope so. Well, I guess I'll never know for sure. Me, I think I'll always remember you. Even now, tall, serious looking guys wearing glasses still remind me of you. And of course every time I see Dexter's Lab. 'Cause you'll always be Mr. Dexter to me.

~the girl with the glasses who'll never forget.

Day 11 of 30 Letters in 30 Days