Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Day 21 ~ The friendliest person you knew*

*originally:  The friendliest person you knew in just one day. i couldn't think of anyone really worth the title so i chose to write this for the friendliest person i knew right form the very first day we met. here goes:

It was a Sunday morning when there was a knock on the door. I got out of bed, opened it, and there you were. It was destiny. Kismet. Fate. Serendipity... Later that night, you were sleeping beside me.

Ever dearest Jhai, my roomate. This is for you:

A piece of paper brought us together, one that had two letters and two numbers written on it: BA 39. But it was God really, for He knew that I needed someone like you in my life. I thank the Lord for you Glezel Mae Galenzoga. I'm truly blessed that I know you, the FRIENDLIEST person there is. I knew that right from the start.

The two us just sort of clicked together right away: we shared stories and pictures even that first night in Kalai, then ultimately pushing our beds together for comfort in sleeping in a strange new place. And of course I remember that parade on the first official school day, you carted me around like a little sister, introducing me to your friends.  You're just that way, kind and generous, thoughtful. You showed me that in those first days I knew you, until the very end of our year together . You were the best roommate and a most wonderful friend. You have a big heart, as big as you are, maybe even more.  And you are truly beautiful Jhai, inside and out. You've touched and blessed my life from that first day I met you, through every day we had in our little room and beyond that. It is truly exceptional to have shared much with you and more so to be your friend.  For in the countless friends that you have, being who you are, I am  really glad to be counted as one.

Love always, Your Bonita

Day 21 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Monday, September 20, 2010

Day 20 ~ Someone you want to befriend/get closer to

To my love, J.D.

I wish I really knew you. I've spent countless hours with you - watching you, listening to you. You don't know just how I wish I was close to you. I have all these dreams and fantasies. It's just that you are so incredible for me. You are such a star in my life. You're great in everything you do, I mean everything!  I adore you, really I do. And I'm not scared to say it. All my friends know it. I will shout to the world how much I love you. I have for a long time now and I will for a longer time still. Simply said: I am totally, absolutely, freakin' crazy about you. I just want you to know that.

So if ever you read this, I hope you'll drop me a line. I'll be waiting. I'll wait forever for you.

Obsessively in love, Vanie

ps: I am totally serious. Call me! Let's be friends...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Day 19 ~ Someone you judged by the first impression

To a 'Kuya'...

I still remember clearly the very first time I met you… You were so unlike any guy I've known back then. In the short time I came to know you, well, you were just wonderful in every way. Of course, I couldn't help but adore you. And I did, from that first time we were together, more so after the second time, and for some years after that even when I didn’t see you.  For me, you were the perfect guy, ideal in every way, and no one else came close. Of course, you were so out of my league, but that didn't stop me. Also you were older, and you lived far away, and you were just too wonderful. That was how I saw you, from the very first. Until it all changed.

Until you changed. I was astounded to have heard the news of what happened. It was unbelievable, incredibly so, that that could happen to you. Maybe to other guys, but not you. You were supposed to be perfect, or as close to it as anyone could come. You were beyond and above the other guys. And I hated you for proving me wrong.

I now realize just how wrong I was. But not about that, not about you. I was wrong to expect too much, to have put you on a pedestal when, of course, you were not perfect. No one is. You were just a guy, a good guy, who made a bad decision. Despite that, you are still all that I thought you were at first. You really didn’t change. You're still that guy that I knew who have all these amazing qualities. I know that now.

When I've realized all these, I felt bad for all the bad feelings and thoughts I had about you. I judged you harshly and I'm sorry for that. As I write this, I think of you as a lesson learned. And I'm happy that I've known you. Also, I am happy for you, whenever I see or hear about your life now. I really am. You've proven to be all that I thought you were - someone good and wonderful. I won't forget that.

I wish you and your family a happy life.

photo credit: Guitar_Man_I_by_subtlexshivers (

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Day 18 ~ Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

 hey, You.

You asked me how I was… I wish I could really tell you. If I could, then I'd tell you that I'm okay... but I'm sad sometimes. Because I miss you. (Even if you're just there.) You see, I've been thinking of you a lot lately. My mind's been full of memories, memories of our special moments together. Well, for me, they were special; those sweet, unforgettable times I spent with you... Like how we used to stay up late just surfing the internet, or listening to songs that you liked... And then the many times that you'd join in on my phone conversations or online chats with my friends... Also that one time when we were walking and you had a guitar and you made up such silly songs that we were laughing along the quiet streets... I remember when you were sick and I was there taking care of you, then you sang my favorite song, though you did not know it...  Of course, I couldn't forget the times we danced together... And the way you hugged me when you said goodbye that summer... Yeah, I've been thinking about you.

Though I thought I was over it already. I thought that in the months since summer - our summer - I've already put to rest the hopes and dreams I had. That's what I thought. But after seeing you, being with you again, everything easily came back to me. In the hundred days that passed, nothing's much changed. You're still you and I'm still me. You're still the sweet and wonderful guy I fell for... and I'm still - irresistibly - your biggest fan.  But no worries, I'm not heartbroken or suffering maladies of unrequited love. I'm okay, really. Just a little bit sad for the way things are. As happy as you made me everyday of that summer, these days you make me melancholic and nostalgic. I've read somewhere that the essence of nostalgia is knowing that what has been will never be again. I think I told you that in one of our conversations before. It's true for me now. I think about you and all our moments together because that's all I have. And I'm thankful that I have them and I'll always treasure those times. But time will come that the feelings that come with these remembrances will fade. I know this will pass. Maybe another hundred days and I'll really be over you, over what I've wanted to be us... I'll be able to go back to seeing you only as a friend, a good friend, but just a friend. It won't be long now, I'll look at you and there won't be anymore longings and heartbreaks-in-a-minute. Then I'll no longer think of you like I do now... 

But 'til then, I'll just stay here, with you on my mind...


Day 18 of 30 Letters in 30 Days
photo credits here.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Day 17 ~ The person who caused you a lot of pain


In the history of my heart (it's not very long), the story of you and me is the longest and saddest. For is there anything more sad and painful to a young heart than unrequited love? I think not. For that is what I have endured in the long years I've known you. You were the greatest love of my young life. You were, too, the cause of my greatest heartbreak. You were my world back then. With all the eagerness and recklessness of youth, I fell for you. And of course, after the fall is the crash, for you weren't really inclined to catch me then, or ever, for that matter. Except maybe those times that you needed me, but not for the reasons I dreamed to be needed.  At those moments, you’d use your dubious charm and  your hold on my stupid heart and as I was so foolishly in love with you, I'd do everything I can to make you happy. That was my role in your life. I was always there for you and you took advantage of that. It's not entirely your fault because I let you. But the way you overlooked my feelings and disregarded the love that is behind everything I did for you, that has hurt me deeply. It felt like a great injustice that though I was the one who cared for you the most, I was not at all important to you. Oh, you told me that I was, that you loved me, too, in some measure. I don't know if you wanted me to feel better because of that. But it only broke my heart more, for I realized that that is all I had of you.

In the many years that I have pined for you, with much tears and agony, all I got in the end is a letter from you full of thanks and sentiments that the two of us wouldn’t have worked, that you would have only hurt me. That was your goodbye as we went separate ways for a while. Of course, you were right. A relationship (if it was even that) that is unbalanced as ours was, someone was only bound to get hurt. Sadly, I was that someone. I was unhappy for so long because of you, but that was my misfortune because I chose to love you - someone who could not or will not love me back. I have accepted that and learned to live with it. But it took a long time to finally get over it. It took time and being away from you to finally learn to let go of a love that would never be.

It's been so long since that time, and in hindsight, I can now only smile at all those memories. Many times before I've wondered if what I felt for you was really true, or was it just a product of my over-active imagination and my love for drama back then. I can’t be sure. But what I'm sure of is that I did feel all of those: the love, the pain, the hope and the agony. There's no more of that for me now, not even bitterness or anger. It was all lessons learned and part of growing up. And you, you'll always be a bittersweet memory. I don't think I can ever think of you as just a guy I once knew. You would always hold a tiny part of my heart, and of course, you'll be in the stories I'd tell my daughters someday when they ask about being young and in love.

~ V

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Day 16 ~ Someone from your childhood

I've been blessed to have a wonderful childhood. Full of happiness, and love, and friendship. So I write to someone who had made me happy, and has given me love.. .the one who first showed me the joy of friendship…

my dear Ate Kay-kay,

I can't really remember now how we became friends. How it started. I guess through our moms since we were both 'faculty kids'. The farthest back I can recall is how I used to wait for you to come out of kindergarten class every afternoon while I was in my mom's classroom in the building in front of yours. Then we'll be off, playing and doing our stuff together. We were always together, playing either at your house or mine. It didn't matter 'cause both were home for me. Back then I could just easily say to my mom, "Don ako kila Ate Kaykay kakain."... and sleepovers were more than usual. It couldn't be counted the many times I've walked that short distance from my house to yours. It was like that for us. I have so many wonderful memories of those times.

You're only a year older but for me you have always been 'ATE Kay-kay'. In many ways you were like another sister. I remember that I would always hide behind your back when one of our classmates would tease me and surely you would make him stop. (You were so much taller than me, eh.) You were also there for me when I had to go through some of the painful medication I had to have for my heart condition back then. You shared so much with me, both toys and stuff, and also love and care. As young as we were, I knew we had something special. When I had to leave you when we moved away, I took that with me. And it's still with me until now. We've lived separate lives since then and years and years have passed, I still treasure our friendship. Whenever I look back, like I do now, it brings me a certain joy and a feeling of blessedness. For those golden days are really a great gift. I've had a wonderful childhood and you were a big part of that. When I grow old and gray, I have much to tell my kids and grandkids about how when I was young, life was good 'cause I had a great friend to share it with.

I'll be forever thankful for that and for you.

Love, Vanie

Day 16 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

Miss Half-Way~

I'm half-way through the 30 Letters, 30 Days blog challenge (Yey me!). And I'm now finding it hard to follow exactly the list given by whoever started this thingie. I've already switched and swapped my letters around actually. Well, the reason is that as I am on this course of letter-writing, things come up that affect how I write and to whom. Like birthdays for example (Letter #15/#7),also when I've had some bad news (#7, too) or simply when I just have to get it out there even if it's not on schedule yet (like #12). One more thing is that as I get further down the list I realize that with some of the letters, I really don't know whom I'd be writing to. Like the letter for 'a deceased person you wish you could talk to '. In my life I've been blessed so far that I haven't experience how it is to lose a love one tragically. (My sister pointed out that I can write to our grandparents who've passed away, but I don't have much memory of them. At least not enough for a good letter.) In others like the letter for 'someone who caused you a lot of pain', and the one for 'someone who broke your heart the hardest', I was really hard-pressed to think of anyone. All I have are petty and silly high school stuff, which I think doesn’t really count anymore.  You know, because of this challenge, I've come to the realization that my life wouldn't make a good movie or book. There's not enough tragedy, at least worthy tragedies like the kind Nicholas Sparks writes about. My life has been non-dramatic so far (those in high school are not counted, those are just so, well, high school). I think most of the drama I feel I have are all in my head. Or maybe I just read too much fiction and watch too many tv series. Not that I'm complaining. It's just a little upsetting to realize you're life is not interesting. Anyhoo, as I was saying, that's most of my problems with the original list for the 30 letters. So here's what I did... I've revised and personalized the 30 Letters in 30 Days! Not much, mind you. I didn't want to deviate too much since it is supposed to be a meme after all. I just tweaked it here and there… changed those inapplicable to me, compressed the ones that are meant for the same person (like the letters for myself), and basically I just made a way to accommodate my wants and needs, and my little OC disorder. Can’t really help it, and, it is my letters, in my blog, after all.

Here’s my new list for the 30 Letters in 30 Days:

Day 1 — Your best friend
Day 2 — Your crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your siblings (or closest relative)
Day 5 — A stranger
Day 6 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 7 — The person whom know is going through the worst of times
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — Someone who was once in your life but isn't anymore
Day 12 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 13 — The person you miss the most
Day 14 — Someone who’s not in your country
Day 15 — Someone you knew was meant to be in your life
Day 16 — Someone from your childhood
Day 17 — The person who caused you a lot of pain
Day 18 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 19 — Someone you judged by the first impression
Day 20 — Someone you want to befriend/get closer to
Day 21 — The friendliest person you knew in just one day
Day 22 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 23 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 24 — Someone you want to kiss
Day 25 — The person who gave you your favorite memories
Day 26 — Someone who changed your life
Day 27 — The person you want to tell everything to, but are too afraid
Day 28 — The one who broke your heart the hardest
Day 29 — A prayer
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
 ★ - letters i added

*here's how it's supposed to be originally. (from my sister's blog, check out her letters, too!)

So, that's how it's gonna be. I'm really having fun doing this. Everyone should try it. There's a certain joy in writing what you can't really say to someone, expressing love or gratefulness, and reaching out to people though words.

Cheers to love letters!